(Bumping)
Psst.
Got you.
- (Knives clatter) - Now, look here...
- But, ma'am... - Close the window, John.
(Watson) 'To Sherlock Holmes, she was always The Woman.
'The beautiful Irene Adler, of dubious and questionable memory.'
(Trotting hooves)
'At the time of our involvement in the Irene Adler case,
'Holmes and I had been sharing rooms in Baker Street for some years.
'My practice had caused me to be absent in the country for several days.
'As usual, after leaving Holmes for any length of time,
'I returned filled with apprehension as to his mood.'
- Oh... - Oh, hello, Mrs Hudson.
Dr Watson, just look at you, half-soaked to the skin.
I have just spent 20 minutes standing in the pouring rain waiting for a cab.
It won't do that old wound of yours any good getting so wet, Doctor.
I'll take this coat and your hat and see that they're properly dried.
Mrs Hudson, I haven't eaten all day. I do hope supper will be up very soon.
That's very doubtful. I don't know what's come over Mr Holmes. He's on edge.
I'm not to bring up supper until I'm called.
Those were his orders.
Thank you, Mrs Hudson.
(Trotting hooves outside)
My dear Holmes.
What is it tonight? Morphine? Or cocaine?
Well, I can strongly recommend a seven per cent solution of cocaine.
Would you care to try it?
No, indeed.
I speak not only as your friend but as a medical man.
How can you risk such damage
to the great powers with which you have been endowed?
- It clarifies and stimulates the mind. - Yes, and destroys it, in time.
My mind rebels at stagnation.
Give me problems, give me work.
Give me the most abstruse cryptogram, the most intricate analysis,
and I am in my proper atmosphere.
Then I can dispense with artificial stimulants.
For I abhor the dull routine of existence.
I crave mental exultation.
That is why I have chosen my own profession, or rather, created it.
For I am the only one in the world.
- The only unofficial detective. - Unofficial consulting detective.
I take no credit in my cases.
The work, the pleasure of finding a field for my powers, is my highest reward.
(Chuckles)
You can close that drawer.
You have made the wrong diagnosis, Doctor.
I have my stimulant... here.
I hope you enjoyed your week in the country.
It was good for the appetite. Incidentally, I do wish you would ring for supper.
- What is this? - I must get ready for my visitor.
It came by the morning post.
Give me your observations.
Well, it's undated and without either signature or address.
Good. Read it aloud.
"Dear Mr Holmes,
"There will call upon you tonight, at a quarter to eight,
"a gentleman who..."
- We've only a few minutes, Holmes. - Go on.
"...a gentleman who desires to consult with you upon a matter of deep moment.
"Your services to one of the royal houses of Europe
"have shown you may be safely trusted
"with matters which are of an importance which can hardly be exaggerated.
"This account of you we have from all quarters received.
"Be in your chamber then."
Good heavens, this is a mystery indeed. What do you imagine it means?
It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.
But the note itself, what do you deduce from it?
- It's a man's writing. - Good.
Presumably well-to-do. It's expensive paper, peculiarly strong and stiff.
Peculiar, that is the very word. It is not English paper at all.
Hold it up to the light.
Ah. Large E, small G.
Large P and G with a... small T woven into the texture.
And that is?
Maker's monogram.
Excellent, Watson. Come along.
Let us consult our continental gazetteer.
Your cigars. I was not unmindful of your return.
- Oh, Holmes. - Care for some whisky?
Later, perhaps, when we've eaten.
The monogram is an abbreviation for Papier Gesellschaft,
the German for "paper company",
and the EG... Eglow, Eglonitz, Egria.
"A German-speaking district of Bohemia
"noted for its numerous glass factories and paper mills."
Bohemia. The kingdom of Bohemia.
And the note is written by a German.
"This account of you we have from all quarters received."
Only a German is so uncourteous to his verbs.
We are to expect a German from Bohemia.
(Carriage approaching)
(Holmes) Here he is.
Drawn by a pair. A nice little brougham.
There's money in this case, if nothing else.
Your visitor will want me out of the way.
Not a bit. Stay where you are.
I am lost without my Boswell.
But he sounded so secretive.
I may need your help and so may he.
Stay in that armchair and give me your full attention. Here he comes.
Sir, you cannot come in here unannounced like this.
Mr Holmes does not see anybody without appointment.
I'm so sorry, Mr Holmes. There was nothing I could do.
It's perfectly all right, Mrs Hudson.
If you would kindly leave us and close the door.
Thank you.
- You had my note? - Yes. Pray take a seat.
This is my friend and colleague Dr Watson, who occasionally helps me.
How do you do, sir?
Who do I have the honour to address?
You may address me as the Count von Kramm, a Bohemian nobleman.
I should much prefer to communicate with you alone.
No, it is both or none.
You may say before this gentleman anything you may wish to say to me.
Very well, I take your word that he is a man of honour and discretion.
But I must begin by binding you both
to absolute secrecy for a period of two years.
Indeed.
After that, the matter will be of no importance.
Now it is of such weight that it may have an influence upon European history.
I promise.
And I.
You will excuse this mask.
The august person who employs me wishes his agent to be unknown to you.
In fact, I may confess that the title I've given you
is not exactly my own.
I was aware of that.
The circumstances are of great delicacy.
Every precaution must be taken to prevent an immense scandal
which would seriously compromise one of the royal houses of Europe.
To speak plainly, the matter concerns the great house of Ormstein,
hereditary kings of Bohemia.
I was aware of that too, Your Majesty.
You are right.
I am the King.
Why should I attempt to conceal it?
Why indeed?
Your Majesty had not spoken before I was aware
that I was addressing Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein,
Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein and hereditary King of Bohemia
and, in passing, the finest duellist in Europe.
- You have killed four opponents. - Honourably.
Of course.
- The facts are briefly these. - Ah.
Some ten years ago, during a lengthy visit to Warsaw,
I made the acquaintance of the well-known adventuress Irene Adler.
The name is, no doubt, familiar to you?
Kindly look her up in my index, will you, Watson?
So, I deduce that Your Majesty became entangled with this lady,
wrote her compromising letters and wants to get them back.
Precisely so. But how could you know that?
Er, Abineri, Italian General Staff... Addison...
Ah. Adler, Irene.
Born New Jersey, 1858.
- Is this the lady? - New Jersey. Let me see.
"Singer, contralto. Appeared at La Scala, Petersburg and Warsaw.
"Retired from the operatic stage, living in London.
"Makes occasional concert appearances."
That is the lady.
(Waltz music)
- (Holmes) Was there a secret marriage? - None.
- No legal papers or certificates? - None.
Then I fail to follow Your Majesty. If this person should produce your letters
for blackmailing or other purposes, how is she to prove their authenticity?
- There is the writing. - Pooh-pooh! Forgery.
- My private writing paper. - Stolen.
- My own seal. - Imitated.
- My photograph. - Bought.
We were both in that photograph.
(Holmes) 'Oh, dear, dear, dear.'
Yes, that is very bad.
(Tuts) Your Majesty has certainly committed an indiscretion.
She was beautiful, bewitching, clever, daring.
(Gunshot)
(King) 'I was only Crown Prince then.'
I was young.
I am but 30 now.
Of course, Your Majesty has attempted to recover the photograph.
We have tried and failed.
Then Your Majesty must pay. It must be bought.
- She will not sell. - Stolen, then.
Five attempts have been made.
Twice, burglars in my pay ransacked her house.
Once we diverted her luggage when she travelled.
Twice she has been waylaid.
There has been no sign of it.
You laugh?
- It is serious. - Mmm.
Yes, it is. Very serious indeed.
What does she propose to do with this photograph, if not to extort money?
To ruin me.
- How? - I'm about to be married.
So I've heard.
To the Princess Clotilde von Saxe-Meningen,
daughter to the King of Scandinavia.
- It is a brilliant match. - Precisely.
But you will know the strict principles of her family.
She is herself the soul of delicacy.
A shadow of doubt as to my conduct would bring the matter to an end.
(Cancan)
(Holmes) 'And Irene Adler? '
(King) 'Threatens to send them the photograph.
'And she'll do it.
'She has a soul of steel.
'She's more beautiful than any woman, more resolute than any man.'
There are no lengths to which she would not go, none,
to prevent my marriage to another woman.
Your Majesty,
why is this lady so vindictive?
Oh, there was once some talk of marriage.
Ha!
She would not see that it was impossible.
(Chuckles)
You are sure that she has not sent the photograph yet?
- I am sure. - Why?
It may be on its way at this moment.
She said she would send it when the betrothal was publicly proclaimed.
That will be next Monday.
I must leave London on Friday to be home for the ceremony.
Then we do have three days.
That is very fortunate, for I do have other matters in hand.
Where can I find Your Majesty in London?
At the Langham Hotel.
As the Count von Kramm, remember?
Yes, of course. And as to expenditure?
Here are £300 in gold and 700 in notes.
And Miss Irene Adler's address?
Good night, Your Majesty. I trust we shall soon have good news for you.
Holmes, we can dine at Romano's.
But we only have three days. Till Friday.
It must be settled by Friday.
Tchaikovsky's conducting his own works at the St James's Hall.
It must be settled by Friday.
My dear Watson, I'd like to be alone.
- You are hungry? - Yes.
- Mrs Hudson will bring a sandwich. - A sandwich?
We will not discuss this matter until tomorrow afternoon. Good night.
Better than working, innit, mate?
- What is? - Looking on.
I'd change with you any time, guv.
- Out of a position, are you? - Eight weeks.
- And me a first-class groom. - Are you?
You can give me a hand if you like. I'd see you all right.
Why not? Give her the price of the booze.
I thought it was her booze.
Strap the mare. Show us what you can do.
(Holmes) I spent a couple of hours with the cabby and his cronies.
Miss Irene Adler has certainly turned all men's heads in those parts.
She's the daintiest thing under a bonnet on this planet.
So say the Serpentine Mews fraternity, to a man.
She lives quietly.
Drives out at five in the evening,
returns at seven, sharp, for dinner.
Seldom goes out at other times except when she sings.
She has only one male visitor but sees a good deal of him.
He calls once a day and often twice.
His name is a Mr Godfrey Norton of the Inner Temple.
You see the advantages of having a cab man as a confidant?
Mr Godfrey Norton is a lawyer. That is important.
Ominous, perhaps.
'Why his repeated visits?
'Ls she his client, friend or mistress?
'Lf he is her lawyer, he might have the photograph in his strongbox.
'Lf her lover, he might not even know of it.'
(Plays gentle melody)
Art thou troubled?
Music will calm thee
Art thou weary?
Rest shall be thine...
(Holmes) 'She had just begun to sing -
'she has the voice of an angel, Watson -
'when a truly surprising chain of events overtook me,
'starting with the arrival of someone I presumed to be Mr Godfrey Norton.'
Wait for me, will you?
(Knocking at door)
Fetch your mistress's carriage.
(Agitated voices)
Drive like the devil. Church of St Monica, Edgware Road.
I must arrive before twelve. That gives you twenty minutes.
Half a guinea if you do it.
'She is a lovely woman, Watson.
'With a face that a man might die for.'
(Watson) 'Face a man might die for? '
- Unusual language for you, Holmes. - Just a metaphor, Watson.
I was just about to sprint after her landau and perch on the back
when another cab came.
He looked twice at such a shabby fare,
but I jumped in before he had time to object.
I promised him a sovereign if he could get me to the church within 20 minutes.
I don't think that I have ever been driven faster in a cab,
but they were there before us.
- I'm very sorry, Mr Norton... - For pity's sake. It's almost midday.
The latest time allowed by law.
I would have called in a coachman, but I saw no reason to tell them our business,
and sent them for a drink.
- Oh, dear Lord! - Godfrey.
You! You! Come here, man.
Yes, I mean you.
We've only a few minutes left or it won't be legal. Come, man.
Hold this and do as you're told.
You'll be paid.
Ah. We have our witness.
The ceremony may proceed.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God
to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony,
which is an honourable estate
instituted of God in the time of man's innocency,
signifying to us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church.
- Irene. - I allowed you to persuade me.
Now you must allow me to persuade you.
- I shall see you tomorrow. - At the very first moment.
I love you.
John?
Hey, you!
Come here, my man.
Come here.
(lrene) Godfrey, let me.
Sir, I want to thank you
for being so miraculously present when we needed you.
How fortunate that you have remained close by.
Well, I'm in no hurry, ma'am.
I hope you will accept this.
I don't need no tip, ma'am.
Oh, sir, let us call it a little souvenir.
She gave me a sovereign.
- Here it is. - What an extraordinary turn of events.
I shall wear it on my watch chain in memory of the occasion.
And what now?
During the ceremony, I thought my plans had been overthrown.
If they had departed immediately,
I would have to have taken prompt and energetic measures.
But he went back to the Temple and she went to her own home,
thus giving us time to act.
How?
Doctor, I shall require all your courage and alertness.
I shall be delighted.
- You don't mind breaking the law? - Not in the least.
Nor running the chance of arrest?
Not in a good cause.
- The cause is excellent. - Well, then, I am your man.
Splendid.
Cab!
Now, the question is...
Holmes, you really do look quite remarkable.
The question is where to find the photograph.
- The house has twice been burgled. - She was too clever for them.
She is a remarkable woman.
- They must have searched thoroughly. - They did not know how to look.
- And how will you look? - I shall not look.
- What, then? - I will allow her to show me.
- But she will refuse. - She will not be able to.
Ah! We draw near the scene of action.
We had better walk from here.
You know your instructions?
When you raise your hand, I act.
We meet at the rendezvous in ten minutes.
Here she comes.
Whoa!
(Man) Oh, no, you don't.
- I was here first. - I opened the door, lady.
- He never, ma'am. It was me. - Clear off, you two.
Let me go!
Opening carriage doors is a legitimate means of livelihood.
You can't stop a man earning a copper.
Let me pass.
- Let go of my coachman. - Take the bread from my mouth, eh?
- I'll fill your mouth, chum. Here! - Oh!
No, no, no! Peace! Peace, gentlemen. Please, I beg you.
Madam, I must protect you.
Stop that! You, stop it!
Stand back. You see what you've done?
He's dead. Scarper before the coppers come.
He's still breathing but he's taken a bad knock.
- I am sorry, ma'am. - You did your best, John.
- Is he badly hurt? - It is only superficial.
- But he needs attention quickly. - He can't lie in the street.
Bring him into the house.
All right, sir?
(Groans and coughs)
Oh, you're conscious. Thank goodness.
You are a brave man.
Over here, Willard.
No, no. Stand back. I shall look after my friend in need.
Sir, will you look toward me?
It is no sight for a lady.
I have strong nerves, dear friend.
No, I cannot permit... Thank you.
A bandage.
As you wish.
(Laughter and chatter in the street)
I'm so relieved that your wound isn't serious.
It is but shallow and the concussion wears off.
- How extraordinary. - Madam?
That so many people should gather in such a quiet little turning.
Well, it's the gang, madam. It was all prearranged to rob you.
All those men to snatch one little purse?
Oh, no, dear friend, it wouldn't have paid them.
My vocation takes me much among the poor and even the criminal classes.
Look at those people staring.
Curiosity is so unseemly, but, I fear, universal.
Ohh. I am so sorry, I think I'm going to faint.
- Agh! Air. I need some air. - Willard, the window.
(Commotion outside)
- Some drinking water. - Are there any smelling salts?
(Strikes match)
(Sniffs) Madam?
Madam, I think I can smell fire.
What?
Fire! Fire!
(People outside) Fire! Fire!
- Fire! - There's a fire.
(Commotion continues)
Madam, come out of here quickly. I'll take care of the old gentleman.
(Coughing) I can't breathe.
It's a false alarm! Look!
It's a trick! Tell them!
(Coughing)
It's a false alarm. Do you hear?
We do not need the fire engine.
What is it?
It is a plumber's rocket, madam. One of my flock is a plumber.
It is ignited by a cap
and sends smoke into pipes to betray cracks and holes.
No, it's all right. It will disperse.
You said it was a trick.
- Who would play such a trick on me? - One of the gang, madam.
But to what purpose? I have escaped them.
Revenge.
Revenge?
Are there such wicked people?
There are people in this world, madam,
to whom revenge is, in itself, a reward.
I cannot imagine such feelings.
I'm sure you cannot, madam.
I am feeling more myself.
I must be on my way.
Oh, please stay. Some refreshment.
Well, one of my flock expects me.
Won't you let my carriage take you?
No, the air will aid my recovery.
At least your name, your address...
that I may thank you adequately.
Well, I am just a humble servant, madam,
of the all-seeing Providence.
Good night.
(Laughing)
You did it very nicely, Doctor.
- You have the photograph? - No, but I know where it is.
- How did you find out? - She showed me, as I told you.
But it still remains in her possession. You may have lost your one chance.
No. I shall call early tomorrow morning.
- You'll call there? - And as my own self.
- And with the King. - The King?
And with you, Watson.
You must be a witness at the end of our quest.
I trust you will sleep well tonight for a change, Holmes.
There's nothing like success for curing insomnia.
(Woman) Good night, Mr Sherlock Holmes.
- Watson! - Holmes.
- But she could not love him. - I am in hopes that she does.
- Why? - It would spare you future annoyance.
If she loves her husband, then she does not love Your Majesty.
If she does not love you, why should she interfere with your marriage?
- Mr Sherlock Holmes, I believe. - I am Mr Holmes.
My mistress told me you were likely to call.
She left this morning with her husband
by the 5.15 train from Charing Cross for the continent.
- She has left England? - Never to return, sir.
All is lost.
(King) Wir sind gerettet.
This is not it.
Holmes, this is a different photograph.
Do you hear me, man?
The letter.
It is addressed to me.
"My dear Mr Sherlock Holmes,
"You did it very well.
"You took me in completely. Until after the alarm of fire I had not a suspicion.
"But when I found that I had betrayed myself,
"it flashed into my mind that I had been warned against you months ago.
"I had been told that if the King employed an agent, it would be you,
"yet, with all this, you made me reveal what you wanted to know.
"Even before, when the presence of so many people in the street
"had sounded an alarm in my instinct,
"I could not think evil of such a dear, kind old clergyman."
(lrene) 'But you know, I have been trained as an actress myself
'and male costume is nothing new to me.
'Yes, it was I who followed you to your door,
'just to make sure that you really were the celebrated Mr Sherlock Holmes.
'Lt was I who rather imprudently wished you good night.
'Then I started for the Temple to see my new husband.
'We had married in secret in case we had to leave the country to elude the King.
'Your appearance on the scene was the signal for flight.
'You are too formidable an antagonist.
'You will find the nest empty when you call tomorrow.
'As to the photograph,
'your client may rest in peace.
'I love and am loved by a better man than he.'
"The King may..."
"The King may do what he will without hindrance
"from one whom he has cruelly wronged.
"I kept it only to safeguard myself and to preserve a weapon
"which will always secure me from any steps he may take."
(Holmes) "There is more.
"I leave another photograph which he might care to possess,
"and I remain, dear Mr Sherlock Holmes, very truly yours.
"Irene Norton, née Adler."
(King) 'What a woman!
'What a queen she would have made! '
Is it not a pity she was not on my level?
From what I have seen of the lady, she is on a very different level to you.
I am only so sorry that I have failed in my commission.
On the contrary, my dear sir. Nothing could be more successful.
I know that her word is inviolate.
The photograph is now as safe as if it were in the fire.
I am glad that Your Majesty thinks so.
I am immensely indebted to you. Tell me in what way I can reward you.
This ring...
Your Majesty has something which I should value even more highly.
You have but to name it.
This.
Irene's photograph? Certainly, if you wish it.
Then I have the honour to wish Your Majesty a very good morning.
(Watson) 'And that was how a great scandal threatened Bohemia
'and how the best plans of Mr Sherlock Holmes
'were beaten by a woman's wit.
'He used to sneer much at the cleverness of women
'but I have not heard him do it of late.
'And when he speaks of Irene Adler or when he refers to that woman,
'it is always under the honourable title of The Woman.
'Ln his eyes, she eclipses the whole of her sex.
'Lt was not that he ever betrayed any sign of love for Irene Adler.
'All emotions such as that one are abhorrent to his cold, precise mind.
'He only looks on women pathologically,
'as the source of motives, clues,
'and yet he keeps her photograph apart, locked up.
'There is but one woman to him,
'the beautiful Irene Adler
'of dubious and questionable memory.'
(Haunting melody)